GAYLETTER

Whether you’ve had the best year or a Lady Gaga kind of year, New Years Eve is your very last chance to make memories, make mistakes and a great excuse to make out with someone for the last time in 2013.

We know it’s an overrated night, and it’s just as likely you’ll have the best time ever getting stoned in your apartment, playing Xbox and falling asleep on the couch by 11:15PM, there’s still a chance you might just surprise yourself and have an amazing time out on the town. That’s what we’re here for.

Follow our guide below to find a party that suits you this New Years Eve. They say you should bring in the new year the way you want to spend it — so here’s to a drunk 2014 filled with hot boys, drag queens, late nights and blurry iphone photos of Rihanna. Your (mis)adventure starts now…

PARTY: WESTGAY NEW YEAR’S EVE AT EASTERN BLOC
Same night, different venue, wilder people. Frankie Sharp is bringing the DJs and pornstar go-gos to Eastern Bloc, where the illustrious Stephanie Stone will perform as you guzzle champagne at midnight. Ask for a shot of vodka or tequila in yours to make it truly a night to black-out.
FREE, 9:00PM, EASTERN BLOC, 505 EAST 6TH ST. NY, NY.

PARTY: NYE @ SECRET ROBOT PROJECT
Bathsalts, Dungeon and Secret P are throwing an end-of-year blowout that combines our two of our favorite things: dance and drag. DJs Schwarz, Stallone the Reducer, Dungeon, Cartel and K-Hole are spinning everything from vogue remixes to techno, alongside dirty drag performances, hot go-go boys and surprise guests! Everyone’s welcome, as long as you’re committed to partying until stupid o’clock.
$10 before 2am, 9.00PM, Secret Robot Project, 389 Melrose St. BK. NY.

PERFORMANCE: PAM ANN & SANDRA BERNHARD AT JOE’S PUB
Before you start making a fool of yourself on the dance floor, join two of the world’s fiercest  female performers as they spit on the grave of 2013. Pam Ann (pictured left) is probably the only comedienne who loves butt sex as much as you, and she’ll be serving up hilarious airline realness at 7:00pm with her show ‘Galactic 2014.’ Then Sandra Bernhard (pictured right) does her incredible theatre/rock/stand-up thing called ‘Sandyland‘ at 9:00pm and 11:00pm. Both women are as foul-mouthed as they are talented, and you’re going to love it.
$50-$150, from 7:00PM, Joe’s Pub, 425 Lafayette St. NY, NY.

PARTY: PROBLEM CHILD/ NEW YEAR’S EVE EDITION AT BEDLAM
Keep it simple this NYE at Problem Child‘s NYE edition at the Ave C bar Bedlam. It features hosts Austin Phelps, Jessica Megan Long, Théo Lengyel, music by Taul Paul x Jonboxx and one of our favorite descriptions for a party so far: “no cover / chiil vibez / cute kids / adios 13″ / hola 14.” 
FREE, 10:00PM, Bedlam, 40 Avenue C. NY, NY.

SHOW: PHANTOM BALL AT XL NIGHTCLUB
XL is offering it all this NYE. It will undoubtedly be the usual shirts-off mess we know and love, but the Phantom Ball will also include an amazing stage show and even a dinner! Really? Tick over to 2014 with dancing until dawn, along with two singers, Chad Ryan and Brianna Galligan, performing the best moments from The Phantom of the Opera.
$60 (General Admission) – $125 (Dinner Package), 9:00PM-8:00AM, XL Nightclub, 512 West 42nd St. NY, NY.

PARTY: A VERY WRECKED NYE PART II
If your lame-ass friends are calling it quits after the countdown, or you simply don’t leave the house before midnight, this is your next stop. Once the balls have dropped across the city, Wrecked NYC are opening their doors for you to get ruined until late to the sounds of Ryan Smith (pictured) and Ron Like Hell.
$20 all night, 12.30AM until very late, Basement 291 Kent Ave. and South 2nd St. BK.

Photo by Marie Tomanova

PARTY: BALL DROP – NYE BASH AT SUGARLAND
Join the turnt up trifecta of Horrorchata, Untitled Queen (pictured) and Merrie Cherry as they transform Sugarland into a NYE bordello of sin. The champagne will be flowing, there’ll be sickening drag and burlesque shows, and DJs will have you on the floor all night. Even if you’re leglessly drunk. Which you will be.
$10, 9.00PM, Sugarland, 221 North 9th St. BK. NY.

DINNER: NYE @ HOTEL AMERICANO
Keep it tasteful (at least to begin with) by spending NYE in a “magical world complete with performance, installation and tableaux vivant to entertain your salubrious senses.” If the food is as good as the event hyperbole, we’re in. Enjoy the last meal of 2013 courtesy of chef Joe Buen Consejo, with music by DJ CLAAP.
RSVP@Hotel-Americano.com, Seatings at early 7:00PM and late 9:00PM, Hotel Americano, 518 West 27th St. NY, NY.

PARTY: RIHANNA AT THE 40/40 CLUB NEW YORK
We found out about this one from Rihanna‘s Instagram account (the feed is soooo entertaining). When she posted about this party I think she was so stoned she forgot she has over 10 million followers and the 40/40 Club fits about 40 people. But hey whatevs, it would be just too funny if you managed to push past the RiRi Navy to get into this thing. It’ll be a roomful of thirsty motherfuckers paying way too much for drinks, while trying their hardest to act like they’re looking over at Rihanna every time she takes a sip of her rum and coconut water. Definition. Of. A. Shit show.
A lot of money, 10:00PM, 40/40 Club, 6 West 25th St. NY, NY.

PARTY: NYE WITH SPANK ROCK + AMANDA BLANK
Cooked up by ladies of the night Roxy Cottontail and Katie “Queen Bee,” spend a luxe New Years Eve with the cutest party crew NYC has to offer. Hotel Americano’s El Privado is where you’ll find this sordid soiree, with Spank Rock and Amanda Blank to rap you into 2014. You want more? How about Brandon Voss and the Scissor Sisters on the roof? Now shut up, dress up and get there on time.
$50+, 9.00PM, El Privado at Hotel Americano, 518 West 27th St. NY, NY.

Photo by Eric Johnson

PARTY: WHOREHOUSE NYE

Whorehouse is a “safe, sexually explicit fun filled party with beautiful people from all different walks of life.” We’re sold. Their fifth anniversary party is set across two wild venues and features the up and coming NYC artists you need to know NOW. DJs include Lil Internet, Mess Kid (pictured) and Cobra Krames with performances by Joey Labeija, THEilluzion, CUNTMAFIA, plus many more.

$10 Girls/$15 Guys, 9.00PM, Venue TBA — Check their Facebook event page for details.

PARTY: SHHH!!! A NEW YEARS EVE PARTY
Susanne Bartsch is throwing a house party at Le Baron. There will be cocktails until 8:00AM. Need we say more? DJs include Bridget Marie, Christy Love, Colby B., Lauren Flax and more. With hosts: Domonique Echeverria, Jeremy Kost, Jessica Love, Dylan Monroe, Muffinhead, Brandon Olson, The Family Jewels, Veritée Hill and other special guests. Every gorgeous freak you know will be there. So should you. Good luck getting in, miss Markus is impenetrable.
INVITE ONLY, 10.00PM, Le Baron, 32 Mulberry St. NY, NY.

Photo by Sam Evans-Butler

PARTY: NYE AT LEFTFIELD
No bullshit and no cover charge! Could anything sound better? Well the folks at Leftfield are also throwing in Jermaine Jagger (pictured) on decks, music video art and a champagne toast. Consider this your NYE refuge from douchebags (watch out — they’re everywhere).
FREE, 7.00PM, Leftfield NYC, 87 Ludlow St. NY, NY.

PARTY: A NEW LOW – NYE 2014
Stumble down into the foggy basement of Leftfield NYC for one last night of debauchery before your new years’ resolutions kick in. Expect goth, industrial and new wave sounds, along with projected art and no cover charge! Just dress well bitches — but that goes without saying.
FREE, 10.00PM, Leftfield NYC, 87 Ludlow St. NY, NY.

Happy New Year!!!